What’s the Response Been Like?
Someone asked me, the other day, what the response to this site has been like. I explained the situation, and moved on.
As expected, the response at initial publishing was pretty heavy, and then it tapered off. The site still sees about 30-40 visits a day, so it seems there is some kind of lasting affect. People seem to be informing themselves, and making decisions. Which is all we ever asked for from the parents of students at the school.
Today, however, we got a response from a parent who is mad. Seemingly quite mad. And mad for, in our opinion, the wrong reasons, and at the wrong people.
Here is that email:
“I hope you know your bullshit ruined many people's careers and no one agrees with you based on everything we know. Isolation is forced on people then it is abuse sitting in the hallway is not abuse thanks for everything good luck in any school with the way you are blowing small and normal things up. Please homeschool and save the community as a whole from this garbage.”
This comes from Ben Malley, a parent at Oak Hill, sent from his professional email account.
I did reply to Ben, and thanked him for his message. I let him know that child abuse should end careers. I reminded him that the isolation of our daughter was by force. In his own words, he admits that isolation by force is abuse, so I guess he agrees this was abuse, but it doesn’t seem he understands the logical flow, here, because he then tells us that sitting in the hallway is not abuse.
A reminder that our definition of abuse comes from the Mayo Clinic, the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Association of Elementary School Principals. They all define hallway isolation as emotional abuse.
We have found a school for our daughter. One that abhors child abuse. There is no reason my daughter’s right to a free public education should be stolen away because of the abusive nature of a teacher, and the defense of that abuse by a cancerous institution. Child abuse is not a “small” thing, nor is it a “normal” thing.
We let Ben know that we do not particularly care if “no one” agrees with us. Though, the evidence does not seem to agree with him. Seven families, other than our own, reached out to use to describe similar situations at Oak Hill, all due to actions taken by Emily Bowar. All were reported to the Executive Director. None of which were acted upon.
Three of those families have now filed formal complaints with the state. One former teacher has filed a formal complaint with the state. Two others have told us they plan to, as well, as soon as they find other work.
(No, we will not be sharing the names of these families, or these teachers. If they wish to share their stories, they are welcome to.)
Our situation at Oak Hill is not, and was not, unique. The abusive culture flows from one teacher, and was supported by the institution. The Executive Director, the Board, and the Authorizer all share the burden of guilt.
I also let Ben know that we hope that someday, he’ll look back and think, “did I really care more about the careers of abusers and a failed school than I did about the safety and well being of children?”
In the end, Ben’s response is not surprising. If you ever wonder why people do not report abuse, this is why. Because there is a draw… a need… to protect the status quo. Don’t rock the boat. If you do, you’ll be shunned and chastised by the Ben Malleys of the world. Your abuse will be called “bullshit,” and they will care more about the careers of the abusers than about the abused.
So… how has the response been? Honestly? About as expected.
If you’re interested, Ben seems to run his own design company, Malley Design. If you’re looking to work with someone that believes isolation and public humiliation are not abuse, that values the careers of child abusers over the welfare of children, and will tell you that your reports of child abuse are “bullshit,” you can find his work, and contact info at www.Malley.design.
