Ding Dong the Witch is Gone

We were recently informed that Emily Bowar, the child abuser that abused our daughter, has “resigned” from Oak Hill Montessori Community School.

This is a welcome development, and we are beyond joy for the kids that remain at the school, as they no longer have to worry that Ms. Bowar will abuse them. This development was announced in an email, dated February 2, 2025, and forwarded to families at the school by acting Director Dave Conrad. You can see a screen shot of the email by clicking here.

It reads:

Dear LE2 Families, 

I wanted to take a moment to express my sincere gratitude for the incredible time we've shared together. Watching the students grow and learn this year has been truly rewarding. Our birthday celebrations, squaring, symbolizing, history and trips to the park have been nothing short of amazing. 

During these last few weeks, I have had to make the difficult decision to resign my position at Oak Hill. This decision is due to family circumstances beyond my control.  As a result, my last day will be February 14th. Since my departure coincides with conference time, I have set aside time on the 13th and 14th to conference with as many of you as are interested. Please use the following link [link removed] to sign up for a conference.

Students, please remember that you all have unique talents and potential, and I encourage you to continue exploring your interests and embracing new opportunities. While I'm moving on to a new chapter, I will always cherish the memories we made in this classroom. 

With best wishes for your future success,

Emily Bowar 

Everyone, in our family at least, wishes Ms. Bowar nothing but the absolute worst, and everything she deserves in life. If this site can serve as nothing more than a warning to anyone that has the misfortune of crossing paths with Ms. Bowar in the future, we will consider it a blessing.

We hope she knows that many of those “memories” she will cherish are more aptly labeled as traumas. In addition, we hope the “family circumstances” are something that is physically, and emotionally, damaging to her, and that she suffers at least as much as she has made children in her care suffer.

Now, you may be wondering if this means this site still serves a purpose. When we launched this site, we offered terms for removal of the site, entirely. These terms were the removal of Shirley Volk as director, removal of Emily Bowar as a teacher, and new policies put in place to prevent this from happening again. Two of those three conditions have been met, yet almost a year later, no new policies are in place.

At this point, even that would be too little, too late. The school, itself, and the community surrounding it, have proven themselves to care more about the institution than the children that make up the reason it exists. At this point, this site will remain indefinitely, as a warning to those who may come across it.

In addition, this email from the acting Director, Dave Conrad, thanking Ms. Bowar for her “time and talent,” makes it clear the institution continues to pretend it is not as culpable in this abuse as the monster they employed, and continued to employ after she was a known child abuser.

Dear Families,

I am writing to share with you that Emily Bowar has made the difficult decision to resign her position of Lead Teacher of Lower Elementary 2. Her last day at Oak Hill will be February 14th, 2025.

Below is the message Emily shared with families in the LE2 classroom earlier today.

Please join me in thanking Emily for the time and talent she has shared with her students and our community the last four years. On behalf of the entire OHMCS staff, we wish her the best in her next endeavor.

Please know that we are working diligently to develop a short and long term plan for this role and will communicate new information as it becomes available. Our first priority, as always, is ensuring a smooth and positive transition for our students. Our team is committed to providing additional support to the entire Elementary community during this time of change.

As always, please reach out with questions or concerns.

Dave Conrad

That may simply be a legal CYA move, but either way, it is disgusting to thank a child abuser for their service.

In the end, we should not that 15 families have reached out to us, at various times, asking about the school and if these issues were resolved. Telling them nothing but the truth, and encouraging them (as always) to make their own decisions, all 15 have decided to either leave Oak Hill, or to not apply in the first place.

We also have heard from three other families that reported abuse at the hands of Ms. Bowar, but whose issues were resolved to their satisfaction by the acting directors and / or the State of Minnesota. The spotlight remains on the school, and will for as long as we have a say in the matter.

Thank you for your continued support.

What’s the Response Been Like?

Someone asked me, the other day, what the response to this site has been like. I explained the situation, and moved on.

As expected, the response at initial publishing was pretty heavy, and then it tapered off. The site still sees about 30-40 visits a day, so it seems there is some kind of lasting affect. People seem to be informing themselves, and making decisions. Which is all we ever asked for from the parents of students at the school.

Today, however, we got a response from a parent who is mad. Seemingly quite mad. And mad for, in our opinion, the wrong reasons, and at the wrong people.

Here is that email:

“I hope you know your bullshit ruined many people's careers and no one agrees with you based on everything we know. Isolation is forced on people then it is abuse sitting in the hallway is not abuse thanks for everything good luck in any school with the way you are blowing small and normal things up. Please homeschool and save the community as a whole from this garbage.”

This comes from Ben Malley, a parent at Oak Hill, sent from his professional email account.

I did reply to Ben, and thanked him for his message. I let him know that child abuse should end careers. I reminded him that the isolation of our daughter was by force. In his own words, he admits that isolation by force is abuse, so I guess he agrees this was abuse, but it doesn’t seem he understands the logical flow, here, because he then tells us that sitting in the hallway is not abuse.

A reminder that our definition of abuse comes from the Mayo Clinic, the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Association of Elementary School Principals. They all define hallway isolation as emotional abuse.

We have found a school for our daughter. One that abhors child abuse. There is no reason my daughter’s right to a free public education should be stolen away because of the abusive nature of a teacher, and the defense of that abuse by a cancerous institution. Child abuse is not a “small” thing, nor is it a “normal” thing.

We let Ben know that we do not particularly care if “no one” agrees with us. Though, the evidence does not seem to agree with him. Seven families, other than our own, reached out to use to describe similar situations at Oak Hill, all due to actions taken by Emily Bowar. All were reported to the Executive Director. None of which were acted upon.

Three of those families have now filed formal complaints with the state. One former teacher has filed a formal complaint with the state. Two others have told us they plan to, as well, as soon as they find other work.

(No, we will not be sharing the names of these families, or these teachers. If they wish to share their stories, they are welcome to.)

Our situation at Oak Hill is not, and was not, unique. The abusive culture flows from one teacher, and was supported by the institution. The Executive Director, the Board, and the Authorizer all share the burden of guilt.

I also let Ben know that we hope that someday, he’ll look back and think, “did I really care more about the careers of abusers and a failed school than I did about the safety and well being of children?”

In the end, Ben’s response is not surprising. If you ever wonder why people do not report abuse, this is why. Because there is a draw… a need… to protect the status quo. Don’t rock the boat. If you do, you’ll be shunned and chastised by the Ben Malleys of the world. Your abuse will be called “bullshit,” and they will care more about the careers of the abusers than about the abused.

So… how has the response been? Honestly? About as expected.

If you’re interested, Ben seems to run his own design company, Malley Design. If you’re looking to work with someone that believes isolation and public humiliation are not abuse, that values the careers of child abusers over the welfare of children, and will tell you that your reports of child abuse are “bullshit,” you can find his work, and contact info at www.Malley.design.

The Board Finally Speaks

It’s always interesting to see how the rats scurry when the lights come on, isn’t it?

Today, the Board at Oak Hill sent out what they are calling a “Message from the Board.” In it, they detail, as they say, “some challenges … in the community that the Board is committed to working through.”

Oak Hill’s Mission

The Board starts with some pandering by stating “The passion we have for this school stems from the impact that its teachers and staff have had on our own children.”

This sets up the obvious question of: Is that impact always positive?

Next, they cite Oak Hill’s mission, “to create a safe space for students, families, and community members to thrive as they collaborate to learn, to celebrate, and to serve one another.”

We asked the Executive Director, Shirley Volk, about that mission in our first in person meeting, which you can listen to on the Voice Recordings page. When asked how the actions of Emily Bowar, to isolate, publicly humiliate, and, in turn, abuse our daughter, aligned with that mission. Her answer was… less than impressive.

And if the vision is to create a safe space, why did the Executive Director, the Board, and the authorizer all defend the abuse of our child?

Staff Departures

They then move on to staff departures, noting that three highly qualified and experienced staff members, with a combined 35 years at Oak Hill, are leaving. They also note that the Executive Director is leaving, which she cited as health related.

The final name listed is the cousin of our daughter, who also filed a complaint about the abuse with the Minnesota Department of Education, back in March.

It should be noted that he did not voluntarily leave, but was informed that he would not be offered a contract for next school year, and was no longer need for the rest of this year. Ms. Volk took this action just a short time before she then announced her resignation from the school.

Just another example of retaliation and spitefulness from her. A reminder that dismissing an employee from employment within 90 days of filing a complaint against the school is a violation of state law. One last, petty act on her way out the door.

Sure, though. I’m bet his departure is “bittersweet.”

Abuse

The board then goes on to note that they are “incredibly heartbroken regarding abuse allegations that were made by a parent recently.”

Interesting that they are now heartbroken, only after the abuse was made public, despite remaining completely silent on the issues, despite being informed multiple times of the abuse, and the defense of that abuse, by their hand selected Executive Director.

The continue on by noting:

We recognize and acknowledge that our current circumstances at Oak Hill may feel tumultuous

and cause great concern for you. As a board, we understand what it feels like to be in your

shoes. Many of us are parents and have children at Oak Hill right now. We want to let you know

that we remain confident that Oak Hill will deliver upon its Mission while adhering to our Core

Values. Our priority is always to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our students, staff and

families.

They understand what it feels like to be in your shoes, and that many of them are parents and have kids at Oak Hill. Where was this empathy when they could have been helpful to our daughter? Where was the empathy, as parents and parents of students at the school, when they, collectively, and individually, ignored multiple emails asking for their help?

It rings rather hollow, at this point, to now be concerned. No concern for our daughter. No concern ever, to this day, for her well being. Just concern for the institution, and how to heal “the community.”

In the “What Happens Next” portion of the message, the Board writes:

We are working to put a plan into place to provide an open forum for the community to

discuss the accusations that were made by a parent recently, and to begin the healing

process as a community. We know many of you may have a lot of questions and we

want to answer as many as we can. At the same time we want to help the community

understand the role of the board in situations such as these. We cannot specifically

address many of the accusations being made, as we have a fiduciary responsibility to

maintain student privacy. However, we can share that an internal investigation was

done to understand the parents' concern and that an investigation is still in process from

the Minnesota Department of Education.

It’s interesting to note that the Board told us that a public discussion could not be had. That only a closed door session could be offered. No healing was offered to us. Just a cold wall of silence, and meeting not open to anyone else so no one would know what was happening.

Also of note is that the “internal investigation” that was conducted was done by the person, Ms. Volk, who stands accused of defending abuse. It was conducted by a woman that lied to us, multiple times. That use gaslighting as her go-to conversational style to dismiss our concerns before she ever lifted a finger to “investigate.” The “investigation” also never included a single conversation with a student.

Ask yourself: If the police, a lawyer, or anyone else, were investigating an accusation, would they not want to speak with the victim, and other potential victims? Would they just ask the accused, “Hey did you abuse this child,” and when they say “no,” shrug and say, “well, that’s it, must not be true”?

MOChA

The Board then move on to the authorizer, MOChA.

The head of MOChA, David Peterson, is the one that ignored our requests for help because he was too busy on vacation, playing with his grandchildren. He then went on to ignore our formal complaint for over a month, then somehow completed a thorough investigation in less than a day, and told us that Oak Hill had done nothing wrong.

But now they “noted that in the first three years of the school as a charter entity, the board and administration have designed and implemented systems that are highly functional and have led to success in student learning, financial stability, and effective leadership of the school. MOChA has indicated to us that they feel strongly that we have the pieces in place to continue to move the school forward and will continue to provide the guidance necessary to make OHMCS successful.”

Amazing that the organization that joined the Board, and the Executive Director, in refusing to conduct an actual investigation, and brushed off the abuse of our child with silence and vileness, now says the Board, and administration, has done just an amazing job. Interesting to note that MOChA says the school is financially stable, when the Executive Director told us that the school was running at around a $25,000 budget deficit.

So, take all of what they say with a huge grain of salt. They are protecting their own interests, covering up their own ineptitude, and flat out lying to you.

Pandering and Patronizing

This is the third operational year of OHMCS as a Charter School. We have come together to fill

the classrooms and give as many children as possible the opportunity to develop a love of

learning that will carry them through whatever their bright futures may hold. We are fortunate to

have a teaching staff that is passionate about sitting with our children so they can see their

wonder as they develop a new skill. We are lucky to have an incredible administrative staff that

works hard to ensure learning can happen easily and comfortably in the building every day. And

we are grateful to have families that believe in OHMCS and come together to celebrate the wins

of all our children.

As the school year comes to a close, we want to acknowledge the hard work and dedication of

our teaching and administration staff. It is because of them that our children thrive, and we

appreciate their hard work and dedication. Our deep appreciation goes out to each and every

member of the Oak Hill team.

Interesting choice of words, throughout this. While we agree that the vast majority of the staff of the school are wondering people, there is at least one educator who refused to sit with at least one student. Emily Bowar, instead, abused our daughter.

The administrative staff works hard to ensure learning can happen easily and comfortably? Is it easy to learn while being abused by your teacher? Is t easy to learn while being isolated from the class? Is it comfortable to be isolated and publicly humiliated?

Not all of the children thrive at Oak Hill. Their appreciation goes out to each and every member of the Oak Hill team? Even the member that abused our child? To the one that justified her abuse? To the one that defended that abuse, and lied to us while breaking several state laws?

Not a great look.

Conversations

“We look forward to the conversations that are needed to ensure the OHMCS community continues to thrive.”

Just not with us. A complete, and total, refusal to have any conversations with us. Silence from the entirety of the Board, with regard to conversations with us. No conversations to help make sure our daughter can thrive, but they look forward to the conversations to make sure the institution can thrive.

In the End

If you’ve read the information on this site, and listened to the Executive Director in the voice recordings, you’ll know that the near sum total of the Board’s message is meant as a “CYA” message. Something to pander to you, and make you feel warm fuzzy feelings instead of accepting there are major institutional issues with the school, the Board, and the authorizer.

I hope you will attend their meeting, and ask the questions they refused to answer for us. And then, as always, make your own decisions.

Oak Hill’s Response

We are aware of Oak Hill Montessori Community School’s response to our site and email.

We are, of course, disappointed. But hardly surprised.

Shirley Volk, Emily Bowar, and the school board have been gaslighting us from the beginning. Now, apparently, it is your turn. Our site provides evidence of our claims. We have provided you with expert definitions of abuse, voice recordings of conversations with Ms. Volk and others, and the entire email chain of conversations between us, Ms. Volk, Ms. Bowar, the school board, and the schools authorizer, as well as other families with children at Oak Hill.

To dismiss claims, supported by evidence, as “misinformation,” is disingenuous, at best. Ms. Volk wants you to believe this is all made up. That it never happened. That even if it did, it isn’t abuse, and that even if it is, it is all in the past, and we should all just move on. I would ask what information, supported by evidence on this page, she believes is “misinformation,” specifically, and what evidence she has that the information is false.

Once again, we have provided you with evidence that these events occurred. That abuse occurred. That our daughter was a victim of this abuse.

It is all on this site, for you to read, and hear, for yourselves.

We have asked you for nothing, except your time, your patience, and your empathy. Oak Hill is asking you to ignore reality. To dismiss abuse with absolutely no basis to do so.

We point you back to the quote from Judith Lewis Herman found at the bottom of our home page:

“It is morally impossible to remain neutral in this conflict. The bystander is forced to take sides. It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing.

He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain.

The victim demands action, engagement and remembering...

In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened, the victim lies, the victim exaggerates, the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on.

The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.”

Thank you all, again, for your support. We continue to encourage you to read the information, and listen to the conversations. Then, make up your own minds. That’s all we have ever asked of you.

Thank You

Thank you all for the massive outpouring of support.

We had major doubts about building this site, launching it, and mostly about emailing all of the parents at the school. With the reponse from the administration, and the school board, we figured no one would care. We were wrong.

We have received dozens of replies, all of which expressed concern for our daughter, many asking how you can help, and offering a friendly ear, if nothing else.

It means the world to us to know that the Oak Hill community, as twisted as the administration wants to portray it, is real.

Thank you, from the bottom our hearts. It means the world to us that you took the time to read the email and reply.